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Malcolm

Malcolm

I attended an interview last night. To be honest, I didn’t want to do it, but I thought it would be rude to reject him directly. First, I introduced my background and mentioned that I was interested in discussing any English or Chinese work opportunities. But when it came to Japanese? I wasn’t interested, due to my level of proficiency in the language.

He just ignored my preferences and kept talking in his own way, like most Asian uncles do, trying to impart some sort of wisdom. This happened three or four times during the conversation. I told him that if there was any opportunity in the future, I would like to work with him, but at the moment, I really didn’t think I could handle a job that required Japanese.

He really didn’t want to end the conversation and talked for about an hour. Thankfully, the meeting had a time limit. At 9:30 PM, Zoom closed the meeting, and I felt so relieved.
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Kei

Kei

Day 73
Part 1

I hadn’t gone running for a while, but tonight, on a whim, I decided to go for a run.
After leaving my house, I saw a small dog by my neighbor's coin laundry. It wasn’t on a leash, but then I noticed a man following it, so I assumed the dog was his.

After a short walk, I reached the usual promenade by the sea, set my timer for 30 minutes, and started running.

When I got to the other side of the road, I saw the same dog again, and it approached me for cuddles.
Since I love dogs and hadn’t touched one in a while, I cuddled it like crazy.
However, this time, I didn’t see the owner. The dog was all by itself.

I wondered where the owner was.
I looked around for a bit, but then the dog carelessly crossed the busy main road.

Thankfully, it managed to cross safely, but seeing this made me think I should pick it up.
I followed it, caught it, and brought it back to the promenade.

To be continued...
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Ann

Ann

I used to think it would never happen to me…
But then, it hit me. Suddenly. Out of nowhere. [Still in disbelief]

It’s been about two weeks since I had what I now know was a panic attack.

During the first week, I had no idea what was going on.
I couldn’t breathe properly — whether I was awake or trying to sleep.
I’d fall asleep only because my exhaustion finally beat the shortness of breath,
only to wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air.
I felt restless and uneasy no matter what I did — walking around, sitting, lying down… nothing helped.
For the first time in my life, I had to take time off work.

I managed to visit a clinic, and the doctor said,
“Looks like you’re experiencing autonomic nervous system issues.
It might be linked to hormonal changes before your period.
A light panic disorder, perhaps.”

I was prescribed a mild tranquilizer, but it didn’t work for me.
The next day, I couldn’t do anything on my own — I was so overwhelmed with fear.
I somehow drove myself back to my parents’ house, crying the entire way.

My family had never seen me like that before. They knew it was serious.
I ended up staying with them for a while.

I went to my longtime doctor, crying and begging, “Please, I need help.”
The new medication finally started to work, and I felt about 50% better.

Two weeks have passed, and I’m back to 70–80%.
I’ve returned to work, but it doesn’t feel completely right yet.
On days with high temperatures or strange weather, I still feel off —
like the pressure in my ears, slight shortness of breath, and that unsettling sense of anxiety.

It’s not the same full-blown panic I felt that first time,
but it’s still tough.

Thankfully, work is slow right now, so I’m managing.
But I wonder… will I ever be able to handle a full workload again?

I used to be pretty work-dependent.
Multitasking was my thing.
Maybe this is my body telling me it’s time to pause and reevaluate.
Maybe it’s a message to take better care of myself.

The comic I read didn’t reflect my situation 100%,
but the first panic attack in the story? That was exactly how it felt.
Reading it gave me a sense of relief — and a little bit of hope.

Just felt like sharing where my heart is today.🫶

#パニック発作
#英語でも書いてみた
パニック発作パニック発作
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